


A Photographer's Musings

by quin12



Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF
Genre: Alcohol, M/M, side Harry/Ben, side Nick/Matt Richardson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-12 03:35:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2094198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quin12/pseuds/quin12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick is an art photographer whose muse has finally left him. He meets Louis, who agrees to model for him under his own conditions. Nick's not used to such bossy models and struggles to be okay with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Photographer's Musings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [julgru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/julgru/gifts).



> I hope my recipient enjoys this little fic!

If you asked Nick if he liked his job, eight times out of ten he would say yes. Those other two times though, he sat on the floor of his studio and questioned why he would ever choose the art photography route, rather than becoming the solicitor his father urged him to be. Usually, these days ended with him being spectacularly drunk and taking artistic pictures of cheap vodka bottles. For one of his shows, Nick was short a few pictures, so he edited a few of the vodka shots and put them in a series.

The other reason Nick wishes he were dressing up in a suit everyday to fill out paperwork was his supposed muse, Matt. He was amazing to photograph—quirky-looking enough to show up well in photos, obedient enough to climb on a ladder and jump down whilst smoking a cigarette, and inspirational enough that he’d been helpful to Nick for years. But sometimes he’d pitch a fit, claiming their relationship was based on Nick using him, calling him up and then throwing him away. Nick was fully aware of this, it wasn’t his fault Matt kept coming back. They had great sex, Nick took a few pictures, sometimes they cuddled and watched telly, that was it. 

One day, his friend Caroline called him up, claiming that Matt was at her place. He’d been crying when she’d discovered him on her porch and making a right mess of himself. “I’m getting tired of getting in the middle of your chaos, Grimmy. He’s a great guy and you tear him up. I love you both, but this is mad.”

This is how Nick finds himself drunk at a cafe in the middle of the afternoon, because nothing says cliche like the melancholy artist sitting by himself and reeking of gin at two p.m. He’s got his camera with him, setting up the salt and pepper shakers to represent him and Matt. The salt is on its side spilling out of the small glass container, while the pepper remains standing up with its top screwed off and placed carelessly on the table. Nick figures he’s the pepper in this layout - he’s bitter and dark and he likes to think he’s important, but in reality people only reach for him when they don’t have the option of another more useful spice like rosemary or basil. And of course, Matt is the salt. Everyone loves salt. It photographs so nicely, it makes every dish better. 

He’s taken a few shots of his impromptu set when a boy walks in yelling to the person at the till. “Zaynie, I’ve gone and done it! I’ve made the lead role and I need you to post these flyers everywhere!” The guy, who is apparently Zaynie, drops the box he’d been carrying and curses loudly at his friend. Serves him right, Zaynie was unfairly attractive. Nick probably wouldn’t ever be able to photograph him well; he’d direct the eye to his face and ruin the entire composition. 

Zaynie says, “Fuck off Louis, I’m busy here.” The face Louis pulls in retaliation is endearing, like he’s never been told no in his life. 

Either way, Louis gets to work, tacking the flyers on any free wall space. Once he’s nearer, Nick decides he needs to talk to this guy. But while he’s wracking his brain for something to say, Louis looks over at him and comments, “Mate, I think afternoon drinking is a sign of a problem.” He says it so seriously, as if he’s truly worried about Nick. But even through his drunken haze, he can tell this guy is taking the mick out of him. 

“What do you know about problems?” Nick doesn’t slur, but it’s a near thing. He starts fiddling with his camera in order to find something to do with his hands.

Looking amusedly at the neighborhood drunk, Louis says, “Well, I suppose I know nothing. Everything is going my way today.” His eyes are twinkling and Nick has an urge to take a photo. He’s so bloody picky about the people he wants to photograph, it’s why he’s stuck with Matt for so long, yet here’s this guy he’s never met and Nick’s fingers are itching to point his camera directly at him. “See?” Louis shoves a flyer in Nick’s face, something about opening night for the university’s theater department. “I’m a star, I’ve got the lead and it’s going to be amazing.” 

Louis is smiling so wide and unapologetically that Nick picks up his camera without thinking and takes a quick picture. The flash goes off accidentally, and Louis is left blinking it away. He looks absolutely caught off guard and Nick’s a little worried he’s about to get punched. Fortunately, the opposite happens and Louis actually poses. It’s a little surprising, so Nick starts fiddling with his camera settings. If he’s going to be able to take this guy’s picture, it’s got to be a perfect one. 

After about the third shutter click, Louis starts laughing. “God, you’re drunk off your arse and these photos are going to look horrendous!” 

If that isn’t the most offensive thing Nick has heard all day, then it’s a close thing. He’s a bit outraged when he says, “Excuse me, I know what I’m doing with a camera.” Waving it around as if that will prove his point, Nick continues, “I am such a good photographer I could do it in my sleep.” He’s not usually prone to bragging, unless of course he’s at a show and he needs to hustle as many prints off the wall as possible, but something about Louis makes Nick want to prove him wrong.

“Whatever you say mate. Come to my show and I’ll let you take pictures of me.” Mostly he’s obviously trying to con Nick into upping the attendance, but Nick can’t resist seeing him again. 

With a slightly drunken wave and crooked smile, Nick says, “Thanks mate, can’t wait to see you there.”

==

Waking up was probably the worst decision ever. Nick came home from the cafe and got even drunker. He then proceeded to smoke about five cigarettes and take more awful photos of whatever items were closest to him. When he gets over this massive headache, he will definitely look them over, but for now he’s burrowed in his bed and there’s banging going on in the kitchen. So Harry’s around then.

Harry fell into Nick’s life a bit too easily. His boyfriend was buying a print off of Nick and Harry was the one who dropped by the studio to pick it up. Though Nick didn’t know Ben personally, he did know that he liked his boys young and limber and Harry was definitely his type. But unlike the string of boys Ben was known to have, Harry was far too bright to write off. Everything about him was nice and sincere. Ever since he picked up the print for Ben, he’s been coming back to see Nick and make a general nuisance of himself. 

If Ben weren’t so scary and if Nick wasn’t so stuck on Matt, he’d probably try and make a go at Harry. The infatuation had passed however, and now he saw Harry for what he truly was: a big goof who was savvy enough to get through life unscathed. It was amazing to go out with Harry and see him flirt for free drinks like a minx, then later see him honking like a donkey at some dumb joke. Nick’s strategy in life was that he could be an awful person as much as he liked, as long as he surrounded himself with genuinely good people like Harry to keep him grounded. So far, it’s been working wonderfully. 

The banging in the kitchen stops and Harry appears at Nick’s door with coffee. He’s got on a Burberry shirt from their fall collection and for a second Nick is very confused. That stuff isn’t even going to be available for another few weeks. But then he remembers that Harry sleeps with Ben Winston and he stops wondering. Smiling big, Harry whispers, “Good morning! I brought you some tea.”

Nick does not feel nearly as alive as Harry looks and croaks out, “How’d you know?”

Shrugging his shoulders, Harry says, “You sent me a few photos. I figured you’d need me today.” If Nick had any ability to feel emotion at the moment, he would be touched.

“Thanks mate. How awful were they?”

Again shrugging his shoulders, Harry sounds like he’s lying when he says, “Not strictly awful…” Then he’s back to being perky when he says, “Oh but it seems you’ve had a run in with my mate, which is cool. You sent me like five of the same photo of him with different filters on them.” No hangover in the world is strong enough to dilute how smug Harry sounds. 

“Fuck off I know what you’re thinking.” Nick takes a sip of his coffee, then burrows deeper in his bed. Harry only takes that as an invitation to join him. He thinks about Louis and Harry knowing each other for a moment, but then he remembers that one time they walked into a Czech bakery and the guy gave them free kolaches because he liked Harry. His collection of friends could only be described as eclectic. “I take pictures of loads of things. It’s odd he happens to know you though. He’s a uni student and here I thought you only rubbed elbows with the London elite.”

Harry is kind enough to not be offended by the last comment. It’s not his fault he directs his charms at influential people and happens to get a few perks for it, Nick knows that. “Well considering the only person you’ve taken a photo of for the last three months was Matt, I’d say this was pretty interesting. It would’ve been six months, but you did Olivia’s wedding so I’m counting that.” 

“Whatever, you’ve got a fit friend.” Nick is more concerned about why he’d never met him before. He’d definitely like to see him again. 

The next time Nick sees Louis is at his show. He’d brought his camera since Louis mentioned it, and Harry thankfully doesn’t mention it. They meet up backstage, Harry dragging him along to say hello despite Nick’s protests. Louis was absolutely brilliant on stage. Everything about him made it obvious he was destined to be a star.Seeing him with everyone, babbling happily and words going a million miles a minute makes Nick want to freeze time to he can photograph him from every angle. 

When they finally make it over to talk, Louis looks between Harry and Nick and his eyebrows shoot up. “You guys know each other?”

Harry just nods quickly and says, “Yeah, remember I was telling you about my friend who’s a photographer? He said you guys met at the cafe!” Nick is endeared by how happy Harry seems to be by his two friends meeting. 

Quirking his eyebrow up, Louis turns to Nick. “So _you’re_ the emotionally vacant one who sells photos of bums to Ben? It’s a pleasure.”

Harry’s eyes widen and he elbows Louis in the side. Apparently Louis wasn’t supposed to use those words to describe him. But he’s amused either way. The people in his life are too slow to criticise, always quick to point out the positives when the negatives just keep piling up. 

“I wouldn’t say emotionally vacant, more like an emotional vacationer.” Nick says, interrupting whatever weird eyebrow conversation Harry is having with Louis. They both look at him, as if they’re surprised that he’s still here. Nick would be offended if he wasn’t a photographer. 

Louis just nods his head, then “Who’s up for pints? I’m absolutely knackered and it’s time to get sloshed.” 

==

Going out for drinks with Louis was a mistake. He’s almost a head shorter than Nick, but he can definitely put his drinks away. Nick is recovering almost the entire day, bits and pieces of the night before coming back to him throughout, each one more embarrassing than the last. The first half of the night Nick focused on getting as many pictures of Louis as possible. It was like some weird urge he hadn’t felt since Matt decided to finally manifest itself in Louis. The second half was trying to occupy as much of Louis’ time as possible. That part was what had Nick mortified all day. 

He’d danced with Louis. Then when they got tired, they headed back to the booth where Harry was doing something with Ben that looked suspiciously like public handjobs. They stayed anyways, Louis narrating the entire thing to Nick while he interjected some of his own observations. Harry was too far gone to even notice, and Ben obviously paid no mind to anyone. At the end of the night, Louis pulled him out of the cab line for a moment to tell him he expected to be compensated for all his new modeling work. Nick was left fish mouthing at Louis as he proceeded to steal the next available cab. 

 

Nick spends the rest of his day recuperating and finding any usable pictures from the night before. The ones from the theater aren’t so bad, the just require a bit of cleanup. However most of the pictures at the bar are unsalvageable, blurred hands taking up half the frame with nothing artistic about it. It’s all a right mess. 

==

Taking pictures of Louis begins to be a regular thing. They meet up somewhere, chat, and Nick eventually gets his camera out. There’s always something new he wants to see Louis do, always a different perspective he can find. It wasn’t like this with Matt. It was more methodical with him. Take this apple, hold this cigarette, stand like this. But with Louis it’s like everything works effortlessly. Nick is stunned by how amazing it feels to take pictures without all the planning before hand. 

Louis is unpredictable. One of their get togethers was memorable because he showed up with some odd horn headband and insisted he looked like a deer person. They did a whole set where he was running around the city shirtless with horns on his head. 

They’re standing next to the London Eye when Louis casually says, “So when are you going to start selling your photos?”

Nick is distracted by the bottoms Louis’ got on. He apparently plays soccer and the jeans make it easy to see. He always wants to take off Louis’ clothes, but Louis always avoids it with or without the camera. A sharp snap brings him out of his thoughts and he asks for a repeat of the question. “Oh, I’ve already got a few up in my friend’s gallery. I sold one about a week ago.”

“Oh,” Louis says looking quite pleased. “So when am I going get my cut?”

And wait, what? “Your cut for what, love?”

“For like, modeling. For spending my free time to let you take pictures of me.” Louis looks upset, as if Nick was supposed to know all of this stuff already. 

Unfortunately, all Nick can do is laugh. “Oh that’s not how it works. I didn’t realize you were hoping to get paid for this. I thought it was just friends having a good time.”

The angry set to Louis’ jaw tells Nick that it’s definitely not why Louis is doing this. “Well I want a fifth of your profit, or I’m not doing this anymore.”

“Not happening darling, that’s outrageous. I didn't realize you were serious when you said you wanted compensation.” Nick knows he’s being unreasonable, but he also knows that if he gave in to Louis that’d be the end of what they have going for them. He never paid Matt, blowjobs were more their currency. Which is a great idea. “I can pay you in blowjobs?”

And apparently that wasn't the right thing to say because then Louis is storming off, with an admittedly great view of his arse.

==

The next week is dreadful. Harry is furious at him, accusing him of wanting another slave model boy which is a bit unfair. Caroline still isn’t talking him and Nick is pretty sure he’s lost her forever. And when he goes out to brunch with Aimee and explains what’s going on, she sympathises with Louis as well. It’s a fucking mess. 

At the end of the week, he’s drunk in the daytime back at the cafe where he first saw Louis. Zaynie, or Zayn as his nametag reads, takes his order and does not reserve his judgmental stare. Whatever, plenty of people probably go for a smoothie when they’re drunk at four in the afternoon. Nick turns around to find a seat when his eyes land on Louis in a big armchair. He looks good. His hair is unstyled and his socked feet are tucked beneath his legs. It hits Nick that Louis probably usually looks like that, not the boy who wears jeans that are painted on and perfectly tousled hair. More than anything Nick wants to capture this Louis on film only for himself, not to edit and resize and sell to the highest bidder. It’s an odd feeling. 

He approaches Louis slowly, and settles on “Hey” when he’s finally next to him.

Louis looks up, but his face closes off immediately when he recognizes Nick. “What do you want?”

Feeling like an absolute idiot, who also happens to be drunk, Nick says, “Well I just wanted to say hi I guess. My camera misses you. And also me, I miss you too.” There should be some magic pill that makes you immediately sober because Nick should not be having this conversation right now. 

“Are you drunk? What’s wrong with you?” His nose scrunches up and Nick wishes with all his heart he didn’t find it cute. He wishes he had his camera to save that forever. 

Trying so hard not to stumble over his words, Nick answers him, “I’m drunk. It seems I’m a bit too drunk for the late afternoon.” He giggles a bit, finally understand how silly this all is. “My camera misses you. I already said that. I have your compensation for you back at the house. I didn’t want to pay you because I also want to shag you.” He pauses again, mostly to gather his thoughts. “Ok that’s not right, I want to shag you but also take pictures of you to _not_ sell. You know?” 

Finally putting aside a book and a highlighter, Louis scrunches his nose again. “Will you sit down? My neck is getting a cramp, you giant. I will gladly take the money, but we probably shouldn’t really talk about this when you’re drunk, you know.” Nick nods slowly in his chair, it’s hard to follow this conversation when Louis’ mouth is moving like that. He must’ve said that aloud because then Louis’ laughing. It’s only been a few days and Nick missed it.

The next day, Louis comes over to collect his cheques, Nick sold two pictures in total. But he sticks around after they make tea and head over to the couch. 

“I really liked posing for you because you always let me do what I wanted. It was fun, plus it might get me recognized. But Harry told me about Matt, how you guys had kind of an uneven relationship and I don’t want that happening. That’s why I want to get paid. It’s awkward as fuck, but it’s better than crying on Harry’s doorstep, you know?”

Nick makes a note to himself to yell at Harry for sharing his personal life, but otherwise completely understands what Louis is saying. “You’re not Matt. I really like you Louis, I’ve probably never said that before.”

“I’d hope you like me, you shit. I like you too. That doesn’t mean you get to make money off that without me and just throw me away, though.” Louis looks defiant, as if daring Nick to decline working with Louis again. He’d be waiting a long time for that.

Nick doesn’t exactly know how to say it, but he tries. “Can we do both? Fancy each other and work together? Because I don’t want to give either of those up. Well unless you’re going to make the deer horns a permanent thing, then maybe we’ll just be working together.”

Louis squawks out a “Nick!” and shoves him right off the couch. But then he helps him get back up, so Nick thinks this is going to go well.

==

“We have exactly one minute to leave this house Louis. I’m not going to be late for my own exhibition,” Nick yells down the hall to Louis, who is most likely in the bathroom styling each individual hair in order to take as long as possible. 

Louis comes out of the bathroom and stands right in front of Nick. “It’s half my exhibition, Nicholas,” he yells, close enough to Nick’s ear that it rings a bit. 

“Arsehole,” Nick mutters, finally opening the door to leave.

The gallery is packed with people. Nick has been in galleries before, he’s displayed lots of his pictures. But this is the first time he’s ever had it all to himself. He’s not sharing the space with five other artists. Ever since being with Louis, his productivity has doubled. It’s brought him more recognition and acclaim than he was getting ever before and it’s mad. 

Harry rushes up to Nick and Louis positively beaming. “Louis, you’re everywhere. You look absolutely brilliant.” Ben slides in next to Harry. Nick finds him no less scary, but whatever it’s Harry’s choice, not his. “And Nick you’ve got this posh gallery all to yourself. Wow. Have you shown Louis the huuuge-”

“No I have not, Harold, thank you!” Then he wraps his arm around Louis’ shoulder and pulls him away.

Dragging his feet, Louis demands, “What have you not shown me? I thought our deal was I could see everything. It’s not nude is it? Dammit I thought we were very clear on separating personal from business.” He looks absolutely infuriated and Nick loves it. He gets all het up and starts jabbing his fingers in all directions. 

“C’mon love if you just let me show you we wouldn’t be doing this.” And once again, Nick leads him around the gallery. There’s one room where only two pictures hang. They’re side by side and Louis was never allowed to know about the project. They enter the room together, the wall is facing the doorway and is perfectly aligned. Louis gasps a little bit and only gets one step in the door. His eyes are watering a bit and Nick’s only a tiny bit afraid that Louis is going to think it’s rubbish. It’s overly mushy and too obvious and it feels too raw of a thing to dedicate an entire room to. 

Turning to Nick, Louis asks in a shaking voice, “Is this for me?”

All Nick can do is nod and say, “Of course love, it’s kind of all for you.”

The left side picture is one taken from the first theater performance Nick saw of Louis’. When they met for the second time and Louis was so cute when he was confused about seeing Nick and Harry together. Louis’ performance blew Nick away. He was so passionate about theater, it was clear the second he stepped out on stage. Even with an entire stage of people, the picture drew you in to Louis, the most important and shining person there. 

The right side was a picture of Louis in his debut at a West End show. His part was a small supporting character, but it was the best experience of Louis’ life. Nick’s too, if he’s honest. Seeing the man who deserved the world up on one of the biggest theaters in the UK was phenomenal. There was no doubt that Nick couldn’t include that in his show. 

The photos are huge, taking up each half of the wall, and finely detailed. Nick couldn’t imagine doing this for anyone who deserved it more than Louis. “I was so happy to see you accomplish your dream, Lou. And I couldn’t think of a better way to let you know how sincere I am about that other than showcasing it where I’m realizing my dreams.” 

Louis rips his eyes from the wall and there are definite tear tracks on his cheeks. “You’re such a soppy twat, Grimshaw. Who let you get this way?” But when Louis hugs him so tight that Nick is afraid a rib is going to pop off, he whispers, “I love you so much, this is perfect.”

Now if you asked Nick if he liked his job, after years of finding inspiration from his favorite subject, ten out of ten times he will say yes. So much good has come out of it, it’s impossible to think of doing anything else.


End file.
